party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm sobbing to NWA
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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