You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
