Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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