I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
