I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
