i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
