last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
