Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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