You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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