So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
