dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
