I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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