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you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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