I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
