Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
