omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
