i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
how does that bad decision feel?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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