Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
