bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
