Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize