so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
