I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
