i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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