Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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