I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize