a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize