The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
