Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
