I can tuck mytits in my pants
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
