I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
