I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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