First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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