put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
