i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
