My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We're using joints as your birthday candles
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
