I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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