So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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