Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
