remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize