I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
