i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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