turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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