He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
