Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
