She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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