Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
