So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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