I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
