I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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