Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
