stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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