Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
