She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Still dying that you shit outside
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
