Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
