god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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