I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
