go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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