they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
