You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
