It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Houston, we have a blender
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
