you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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