morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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